It Was Posted Via Microwave

Hush little baby don’t say a word, Daddy’s gonna buy you a mockingbird.
And if that mockingbird don’t sing, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.
And if that diamond ring don’t shine, Daddy’s gonna buy you a case of wine.
And if because you’re an infant and not allowed to drink that wine should go sour, Daddy’s gonna buy you a superpower.
And if that superpower proves corruptin’, Daddy’s gonna buy you a volcano eruptin’.
And if that volcano produces too much ash, Daddy’s gonna buy you a diaper rash.
And if that diaper rash actually isn’t desirable and besides that, can’t be bought, Daddy’s gonna buy you some polka dots.
And if those polka dots aren’t your style, Daddy’s gonna buy you a pacific isle.
And if that pacific isle is in fact WAY too expensive for Daddy to purchase and he defaults on his loan and gets foreclosed upon, Daddy’s gonna buy you the Sultanate of Oman.
And if, given that Daddy could not afford to buy a tiny island, his promise to buy you a sovereign nation is plainly SILLY, Daddy’s gonna buy you some water lilies.
And if those water lilies ever should wilt, Daddy’s gonna buy you a hand knit quilt.
And if after all that you still weep, Daddy’s gonna have to grapple with the fact that while buying goods and services may benefit the economy, it’s not necessarily the best way to get babies to SLEEP.